[typing sounds] [Dr. Stewart:] Hi, [I'm] Dr. Stewart. [Gary Phelps:] Hi, Dr. Stewart. Nice to meet you -- I'm Gary Phelps. [Dr. Stewart:] My pleasure. Gary, have you ever been hypnotized before? [Gary Phelps:] No, I haven't. I'm actually quite nervous, but I just, uh, I -- [Dr. Stewart:] All right, and you were referred to me by anyone...? [Gary Phelps:] To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... [Dr. Stewart:] So smoking is your problem? [Gary Phelps:] Yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's -- it's finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all that stuff like that, so I, I gotta give it up. [Dr. Stewart:] How long have you smoked, Gary? [Gary Phelps:] Uh, I started when I was eleven years old, and I just can't kick it, you know?
[Dr. Stewart:] Yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] All right, Gary, why don't you just have a seat here and sit down and just relax -- what I do is hypnosis. [Gary Phelps:] Right. [Dr. Stewart:] Basically I just want you to sit back and relax -- let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.
[bigger fart] [Gary Phelps: noticing fart sound] Uh... [Dr. Stewart:] That's it. [Gary Phelps:] O-kay.... [Dr. Stewart:] That's it. [Gary Phelps:] That was...o-kay... [Dr. Stewart:] All right? Okay. Gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. Okay? That's it. Now I'm gonna count backwards from five to zero -- [Gary Phelps:] Right. [Dr. Stewart:] -- and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want you to relax, and just think of nothing. [three farts in succession] [Gary Phelps:] Are you gonna keep doing that, or...? [Dr. Stewart:] Hmm? Just concentrate now. That's it. Close your eyes. Keep your eyes closed. Okay. Now. We're very comfortable. Five [small fart], we're thinking of nothing except being comfortable and nothing's bothering us. Okay. When I say the word "relax," listen to me, you're sinking, you're sinking, [medium fart] [Gary Phelps:] Oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing that? [Dr. Stewart:] Please just try to relax; that wasn't me. Okay. You're very stressed -- you're very stressed. Okay, four, we're relaxing, we're relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very soothed. Okay. Four, three...[fart] [Gary Phelps:] Oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't... [Dr. Stewart:] That was the couch. I know it sounded like -- it's -- the vinyl -- it's a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. Okay. And we're very sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking nothing bothers us, nothing bothers us -- [several farts] [Gary Phelps:] Uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I'm just having a tough time concentrating -- [Dr. Stewart:] Hmm? Here we go -- there, there, we're relaxing, we're relaxing [fart and cough together] three, two, two -- [Gary Phelps:] I was just going to ask you if you could maybe stop doing that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that. [Dr. Stewart:] This is what I do. It's a counting-down thing. We're relaxing now. Just relax -- let it go, don't focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we're doing here. Three, two, relax, relax, that's it, just relax [fart], we're relaxing now -- [Gary Phelps:] Okay -- you're gonna -- that one was -- it's getting a little irritating -- [Dr. Stewart:] Hang on just a second here. Let me just step out a second here. [Gary Phelps:] That'd be good. [Dr. Stewart:] All right, and we're relaxing, as I leave, we're relaxing, still relaxing, [fart in the distance] [Gary Phelps:] Jesus...Oh my God. [Dr. Stewart:] We're relaxing. [Gary Phelps: trying hard not to laugh] [Dr. Stewart:] Okay, I'm back, we're relaxing, and we're counting down, we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. Freshness. Breathing in. Breathing in deep, letting out. [fart] [Gary Phelps:] Sir, I'd appreciate if you could stop 'letting it out'. But okay, okay, fine, thank you. [Dr. Stewart:] That's it, you're all right, everything's good. All right, you feel very
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